My phone got stolen. It was quick didn't feel a thing. So now I am sad. You should be too. Cause you've got no way to reach me. So I'm lonely and sad.

But hey the world isn't ending.

Come closer

and let me tell you a secret.

I have to tell it to you because I can't keep it to myself for much longer. Cause secrets eat away at you, trying to find a way out. If this secret is let loose, things would change forever. It would be irreversible. You have to understand that no one must know this. I'm not strong enough. I can't carry this secret in my pocket any longer. I just need someone to share this burden with me. It is easier to lift, with someone's help. Easier to keep secret.

Can you do this for me?

--------------------------------------------------

I finally finally caught twilight. I liked it very much, the direction and screenplay made sense to me. But anyways I'll still read the book. Just the first one, if I can control myself.

I can't believe next year is next week.

I've tried every remedy but nothing seems to work for me

BECAUSE AT CHRISTMAS

YOU

FRIKKIN

TELL

THE TRUTH.

baby, the thought of you

Lone Ranger

Do you have what it takes to spin a tale, craft a masterpiece, mould a story, weave an intricate web of lies?

23rd of December. The weather is mild. Paired up with Evil today and the combination was good. Something about both having a background in netball, maybe?

Bus ride home, time to muse about the irrelevant. Where I am? Its a scary, scary place. Because I can't have my wings clipped. And you can't fly when you're holding someone's hand. It makes me laugh when I try to imagine a life not entirely my own. Sorry, too used to flying solo.

everyone wants to feel like someone cares
but what you're offering, is beyond my capacity to hold it in!

oh dear, we are in trouble

Okay I think i've been blogging wayy to much these few days? Overexposure to the keyboard, overexposing my stupid stupid thoughts. I shall stick to watching Grey's Anatomy re-runs.

You ain't above it (depending on your stress tendencies)

It just doesn't work when you fight it. It takes over you. Consumes you. You're not above it like you thought you were. Stop fighting.

TODAY I got my hair cut. About time too! So now I am light-headed. Yes, in the literal sense.

all these plans, and all these near-future assumptions

I love you. I frikkin love you. I just got the solo surgery and the first thing I did was to look for you, and you weren't there. You're never there anymore. And I've been thinking about it, and I think it might be because you love me too. And cause you're scared of that and cause I, I screwed it up the last time and cause denny died and, look. Just listen. You had that heart patient and it reminded you of denny and how bad you felt when you were lying on that bathroom floor. I get that. I get that you're scared, but you're not gonna have to feel like that again cause I'm not gonna die, iz. And I'm not gonna cheat on you. I, I'm not gonna go anywhere. Cause i think youre my best shot at- I think with you, you make me better. You make me wanna be better. You make me wanna be good. And I think I can. With you, I think I can. So I'm not gonna go anywhere, and you can stop hiding. And if you wanna be scared, thats okay. Just be scared with me. Be scared while you scrub in with me for my first solo surgery. Okay?

-Alex Karev

Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight

Yesterday's metal fest at odiocrib was good fun. 20 odd people crammed into a tiny sauna of a studio. Bodies slick with sweat trying to mosh in the middle, weary girls (ahem groupies!) trying to make themselves take up as little space as possible against the walls. I had the spot under the spluttering and leaky aircon unit. It wasn't cooling the room at all, of course. It was a humid, stuffy little room, with an elevated portion up front for a stage. Half-naked performers, and half-drenched audience (yeah me). Polarix were bang on-form, and though I'm not really into all that seek and destroy shit, it was good still. It was cute to see BY being the most fully-clothed, and A hardly breaking a sweat with them double kicks. Mingled in the corridor for abit, talked about animals and perspiration, 2ndhandsmoke-filled air was flavour of the night. So after awhile, I said my goodbyes, showed of my braces-less smile for the thousandth time, and then traipsed back to Starbucks with D. VentiNoWhippIcedChocolate for me, ToffeeNutFrapp for him, knowing conversation for both of us (fight the break of dawn!). That's what it's like when you're pressure cooked into savouring everymoment you get, cause 7am next morning, you'd be miles apart.

The most curious thing happened

It's the easy way out and I don't dare start. I know once I do, I won't be able to stop. I don't know how it will feel or what it will do to me. And I wish I weren't so weak as to even consider trying it. Once I start, I won't be able to stop. This isn't a solution, why don't I see that? It's only a way of transforming my problem. I won't be able to stop.

are we human or are we dancer?

Today the folks decided to go for a nature trail walk at Sungei Buloh. We walked, we ate, we took pictures. Then we looked at pottery, ate somemore, I went for tuition at Orchard plaza, finally ending up at J's place for the farewell party.

It's awfully difficult, trying to explain someone to someone.

I love that you won't ever see this

I get it! I totally get it now.

I used to think it was all a load of bullcrap but this has changed everything. I understand what they meant when they said those things, what they felt when they recalled those memories. I thought they were just trying to paint an unrealistic picture for themselves. I thought they were exaggerating. I used to think that it was an impossible fairytale, with experiences to prove my stand. But it's real. It happens. And it's magical.

I'm a believer.

She's got the music pumping through her veins

I caught the band concert last night with D. I must say, it was pretty darn good. Anyway, I think there's something about the holidays. It must be. Making me all delirious and waxing lyrical about everything. Next week, though, I'm resuming physics tuition. Blah gotta start studying. Just when things were going so fine. Again, I can't stress enough, how things always happen during the holidays. There's something in the air.

Fire, fire, you set my soul on fire
Laughing in a corner as it burns
Right between the ribs, its sinking in.
Oh oh the siren sang so sweet and
Watch, the sail is going down
Anyone would drown, anyone would drown
Sick and tired, of this mad desire
Fluttering inside me like a hawk
Wire, wire, got my hands all wired
Heaven help you when i get them off
Right between the ribs, you'll feel it then.

You've got a famous last name, but you're not to blame. Baby, I see you for who you are.

If I'm not interested, it ain't nothing to be ashamed about.

Gonna be at floorball chalet for the next three days! :)

one-time apple queen, and a one-time tramp, and an old-time movie star.
you're a shell-picker of the pickiest kind.

Enlightened

Today has been a nice saturday. Club training was pretty funny, though I did sustain blisters here and there. Mmm I watched Quarantine for the sake of comparing it with REC after lunch and well.. It's the same. But rec tied up the end just slightly better. Still scary though :) I hid my face for most of the time. Again.

Well during training M helped me refine my wrist shot techniques, and by george. I've got a long way to go. Time to start practicing!

What is this feeling coming over me?

Could it be?

I love the holdidays :) Don't you? Holidays spell excitement and new opportunities, not to mention, time to do what I want.

I know my problem when it comes to blogging! I finally realise where I've gone wrong. See to me, thoughts and feelings that I don't fully comprehend and just bounce back and forth in that tiny space called my brain, is more important than interesting things that I've been occupying my time with. (Also i have this very very bad habit of typing in exhaustingly long sentences. Not good.) Interesting things like, mmm a sleepover? The play that I caught? Things people can read and go OH. Yeah that's cute. Well these things, I tire when I've to describe them. But these thoughts, so consuming and the speed at which they are being churned out! They are controlling what I write. And being so confused ever since I returned from Sikkim, I've been having a right ol' blogger's block.

But hey, that said, I bought three new scrunchies today :D I also went to the dentist and got my braces removed. I'm gonna surprise the floorballers tmr, hopefully none of them are reading this right now. Retainers next week yall. I'm growing up so fast.

So over at Starbucks yesterday, I had a long chat with Damian. The scariest thing is the only thing I'm sure of.

he don't tell you that you're beautiful; let me tell it to you to the beat; he don't tell you that he loves you girl; let me sing it in a harmony