but we come crashing back down

i found out that uncle joo didn't pass away because of the cancer. i mean of course it was the cancer, but technically, he died of an overdose. An Overdose Of Morphine. he would be fed one dose of morphine every six hours, to alleviate the pain from his cancer. one night just slightly before the six hour mark, aunty meh called up aunty lin to find out if she should feed him one more dose before he slept, lest he woke up in the middle of the night and disturbed ah ma. aunty lin didn't realise aunty meh would be spending the night there, therefore being able to be there if he woke up, so she said okay.

but he wouldn't wake up. rushed to the hospital, uncle joo was barely hanging on. he was kept at the hospital for observation. my mum said he left us a few hours later. i wasn't there, i was at home sleeping in bed. she said that was how she would have liked to go and that it was better it ended.

uncle joo has always been afraid of death, afraid of everything. he didn't go to the army because he was afraid. he wasn't successful because he was afraid. he couldn't hold a job because he was afraid. but when the time came, when he was drifting in and out of consciousness, maybe he wasn't so afraid anymore. maybe he felt grateful his drawn out battle with colon cancer was to end soon. so point is, cancer didn't kill my uncle. the morphine did, but maybe he's thankful for the lethal drip that did him in.

its ridiculous how easy it is to go astray

yesterday's match vs temasek went down horribly wrong for me. first time nerves got the best of me. in four words, i really screwed up. i think i'll just concentrate on getting well first (darn you blasted cold!!)then see what i can offer on court.


final score 35-11 to us.

braces and kisses

fucking rain LEAVE ME ALONE!

language is but a fascade

now playing: crazy girls-bethany joy lenz (yes i'm listening to it AGAIN. i really like it. go check it out on youtube or sth!)

okay so lets talk about something non-netball related... to take my mind of tomorrow's game. (OH GOD TOMORROW'S GAME!!) yeah so.. um.

my life kinda revolves around netball huh.

i'll try harder..

oh i know. i wanna join hockey in jc. i really do. i'm in this phase of my life where i wanna learn as many team sports as humanly possible. like SOCCER, HANDBALL, TOUCH RUGBY, and the only individual sport-tennis. yeah. the things i wanna accomplish before i die. by the way the list also includes learning BALLROOM DANCE, like the foxtrot, tango, salsa.. yadayada. and i wanna learn FRENCH. i want to take up pilates as well. i also also also REALLY want to learn how to cook from my GRANDMA!!!!!! that's important to me. i might also consider learning the guitar or the drums. and perhaps do something crazy like join a singing competition.

DANG i hope i live long.

oh wells, for now i'll stick to completing my homework. YES IT'S QUITE A CHORE. and making those six-damned-to-oblivion-points.

off to bed for me!

zonals start tomorrow. nuff said.


its at kallang 5-6 if any of you want to come down and support us!:) hint hint! vs springfield.

but it's when you're gone it really brings me down

now playing: crazy girls-bethany joy lenz

i've just come back from kallang stadium. watching the s'pore vs vietnam match. we drew 0-0. i have to say the vietnam crowd was really loud. and i ALSO have to say that the lions' attacking SUCKS. but great job in the defending though(: if vietnam was a little more decisive they would have won. vietnam, i mean. haha. okay i'm off to bed.

words fall out of my mouth

SO. news is, we recieved our east zone groupings!!:)

1. Chung Cheng High
2. Bedok View
3. Springfield
4. Tampines Sec
5. Temasek Sec
6. Anglican High

yoohoo world.
glad to announce, that this year i have diligently managed to do ALL my homework. granted its only been about two weeks, but considering i've never done homework before, I DESERVE A BIG PAT ON THE BACK.

now playing: cruising-gwyneth paltrow/huey lewis

And Then Some

A post dedicated to time, and all it's taken from me.


100 years

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live


I only hope i didn't let everything slip away.

make family-buffalo confiscating history

www.myspace.com/arrestingroulette

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now playing: 100 years-five for fighting