Familiar suffocation, the onslaught of a revelation.

I've had too many of those lately. I hope it's a phase. Or a symptom of a lesser problem.

Can you say you know me?

I feel kinda trapped, especially when my thoughts drift to 2, 3 years down the road. I'm still that same girl I think. So shit scared of the future and being tied to anything. I really do mean anything, as much as it pains me to admit. Time is holding us slaves!

And can you say you understand my needs?

Sometimes it's a mistake to bite on your words. Sometimes the world would be a happier place if we just let it all hang out there y'know? I was strolling the hall by myself today, thinking of the same time last year, when I was a freshie and browsing the same booths. I had no clue where I was heading then. This year, my head is alot more organized I guess. I know what I want and what I'm looking for. Still as I walked, my hands came up defensively around myself and an apprehension I've come to make friends with paid me a visit.

Do you share my fears?

The KPMG session was o-kay, gave me more insight on the scholarship than anything else, but browsing through SMU's brochure now I wonder if maybe I'd like to look into something else. The world's one big fat I-Don't-Know huh? Dreams are strange things. They show you your greatest wants, they bring out your greatest fears. They materialize what your mind is occupied with.

I'm still that same girl.

I think I've made one round. One full circle. And the trip was worthwhile I guess. Nothing like another beentheredonethat you can throw around. It was one of the best journeys so far, but now it's time to bring this ship back into the shore. Only problem is, I can't. And when you have a time-ability mismatch like that, life gets very frustrating.

I'm drawing up marvelous post A levels plans in my mind :) Sandcastles in the air.