Unbreakable
Once you've had a taste of perfection...
CTs loom. I'm not doing enough for my own future. There're many focused, driven young people out there who know what they want, and work like hell towards it. How can I possibly ride that same wave without any of that fire? Without any of that discipline? Then again, there are many directionless teens (a la Therese) who pass each day for the microscopic pleasures, aimless and we don't put in any hard work. We stil get by, right? Do we end up where we want to? Will I regret my actions (or non-actions)? I'm dredging my head through this swamp of self-exasperation, not like it's getting me anywhere. Tell me what I need.
What you would do if
You were the one spending the night?
A Divisions
I'm starting to feel the familiar sensations of pre-season emotions coursing through my veins. I didn't feel any of this last year. I kept trying to draw parallels with B Div 07 back in the glory days of TK netball, and came up empty handed. But this year, I feel it. I don't know if it's because we're doing something right, or just cause I've invested so much of myself in this I'm desperate for some self-absolution. I hope with all my heart it's the former.
[observation] Commitment to things and plans and goals and ideals I've no problems shouting out and declaring eh. People and feelings, I bury my head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. [end of observation]
Yes, I guess I'm still grasping at anything that will give me the minutest of signs I'm heading towards something good. Is that normal? More aptly, is that healthy? Could I be placing too much importance on circumstancial things that might not mean anything? Like I said, desperate for self-absolution. I guess if this is how I cope, then this is how I cope. I'm trying to balance my life. And if this helps in the equation, it can't be harmful. We deserve success, that much I know. And I'll do everything in my power to make sure we get it.
Do you have a winner's mentality? You know the fight is ugly. If you're not ready to give it all for the team, you're redundant.
Slightly heavy for blog-hopping material? Too intense? Perhaps you think I should lighten up. Maybe you've just never had something worth fighting for.
CTs loom. I'm not doing enough for my own future. There're many focused, driven young people out there who know what they want, and work like hell towards it. How can I possibly ride that same wave without any of that fire? Without any of that discipline? Then again, there are many directionless teens (a la Therese) who pass each day for the microscopic pleasures, aimless and we don't put in any hard work. We stil get by, right? Do we end up where we want to? Will I regret my actions (or non-actions)? I'm dredging my head through this swamp of self-exasperation, not like it's getting me anywhere. Tell me what I need.
What you would do if
You were the one spending the night?
A Divisions
I'm starting to feel the familiar sensations of pre-season emotions coursing through my veins. I didn't feel any of this last year. I kept trying to draw parallels with B Div 07 back in the glory days of TK netball, and came up empty handed. But this year, I feel it. I don't know if it's because we're doing something right, or just cause I've invested so much of myself in this I'm desperate for some self-absolution. I hope with all my heart it's the former.
[observation] Commitment to things and plans and goals and ideals I've no problems shouting out and declaring eh. People and feelings, I bury my head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. [end of observation]
Yes, I guess I'm still grasping at anything that will give me the minutest of signs I'm heading towards something good. Is that normal? More aptly, is that healthy? Could I be placing too much importance on circumstancial things that might not mean anything? Like I said, desperate for self-absolution. I guess if this is how I cope, then this is how I cope. I'm trying to balance my life. And if this helps in the equation, it can't be harmful. We deserve success, that much I know. And I'll do everything in my power to make sure we get it.
Do you have a winner's mentality? You know the fight is ugly. If you're not ready to give it all for the team, you're redundant.
Slightly heavy for blog-hopping material? Too intense? Perhaps you think I should lighten up. Maybe you've just never had something worth fighting for.
Labels: Headed for beautiful disaster
posted by therese at 8:47 PM
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