girl 16, seeks closure

Here's something i've been thinking (hate the word "musing") about for awhile now.

As kids, we doddled around on our unsure feet, viewing most object and events only through the narrow scope of what we understood. But we were at our heighest stage of self-being.

Growing up dilutes our ways and colours. It smoothens our angles. It takes away our true self. Don't you feel that at the age of 5, when you were arguing over crayons with the other kids, you were more yourself than you are now? As we mature with the years, i sense a standard being set on the preferable personality traits a teen should have, a template of emotions and a favourable character. As we get wiser, most realise the easiest way to be accepted is to conform to this formula. And with our wisening, more find it easier to blend in than ever before. We are now smarter, more aware, and more worldy. Yet the most common way we use our skills is by using them to mask and hide our old self. Some say this is morphing, changing, maturing. But how can something good result in a bland generation of sameness?

I guess you can only feel this way when you're ahead of the dust cloud.
I am guilty.

But where do I go from here?