Tearfest on a Limbo

I've been changed fundamentally and i thought i was immune. No one, however, is noticing the transformation in me, and i am not able to resist the power of everyone's habitual expectations.

Chalet was so nice. Went swimming at night, roller blading half-naked and tanning somemore the next day. Then we all got emo and REMINISCED about our old times, cried about parting, talked serious with ms teo, ate alot of stingray, played mahjong on the road, danced to the sexed up version of jingle bell rock, and suffered from our own version of truth or dare: dare or dare.

me: i've seen you play and i think you're really hot. can i have your height and weight? (bimbo accent for desired effect)
poor dude: huh why? who are you? (blur, confused and what-did-i-do-to-deserve-this voice.)
me: just answer the question!
poor dude: err 184cm.
me: ooh tall guy, i like. weight?
poor dude: who is this??
me: just answer the question!
poor dude: 85kg.

SERIOUSLY?! i mean SERIOUSLY.

me: i was wondering if you know, maybe you could give me private lessons.
poor dude: i dunno. i've never done it before.
me: it's okay, i like inexperienced guys.