How many times will I have to say no?

Okay this week has been a complete whirlwind. Too many things I needed to settle and keep tabs on. Most of it floorball stuff. This new responsibilty in my hands is.. Something unlike anything I've ever undertaken. And while I know self-doubt is potentially devastating and won't help me in any way, I can't help but have small panic attacks everytime I think of how I'm going to cope next year.

Delorean won't be running next year, so that's one less thing going on. But still. Am I placing too little importance on my studies? Perhaps I'm too ambitious? All these negative thoughts swim in my head, eating away at the faith I'm supposed to have in myself. But hopefully, give me a week or so and I'll feel confident again. For the team, even if not for myself.

What's it gonna take for me to feel 100% up for it, like I did a few months ago? What's it gonna take for me to regain that self-knowledge that things will turn out right? I need answers if I'm going to lead the rest of the girls on, I need answers if I want to do this right, I need answers and I don't think they're too far away. It'll be tougher taking this route, but it's also the more rewarding one. I don't think people telling me they believe in me will help much (Such is the weight I place on their words, unfortunately. I do try to listen to people other than myself of course, but it takes getting use to.) but thank you to all who have tried anyways. This is me at the beginning of a new time in my life. I can't wait to see what this moulds me to become.

Giving little pep talks to myself can work wonders sometimes.