Like noise in my backyard.

I have lots of unsorted thoughts about my future, and the present. I'm feeling pretty pensive today, like I've been lying here staring at my ceiling for the past hour, trying to draw parallels between the sounds of my neighbour's construction works, and my hapharzed chaotic concerns. I don't know why I've got it in my head to get worried. I suspect it has something to do with the elaborate dream I had this morning before waking up. I can still remember it. Lots of suppressed fears and hidden meanings there. My fear of being kept in the dark about something, fear of people turning out to be something else from what I expected, fear of letting my close ones down. I quite suddenly feel as if I need to make major changes in my life. Uni and where I'm going is all pretty uncertain now, so kinda stuck in a limbo. Close my eyes and pray I don't miss my chances. My way of living has to change too I think. Sleep more, eat healthier, I don't know. I'm floundering here. Being away from the boyfriend for the past day or so reminds me of the before. Not that I'm yearning to go back to what I was. That's impossible now anyways. I'm a different person. Not more, not less, just different. Still, I'm okay on my own. I miss him like crazy but I'm okay on my own.

On a side note, Mrs Tan gave birth to a healthy baby girl today, weighing in at 3.6kg!! That is beautiful, don't you think? :)