Then your window blacks out into a mirror.

Spent my time feeling fucked about uni, fucked about scholarship essays, fucked about how I'm always cheating myself out of the route less taken. And y'know, questioning my ability to prioritize. Familiar fears? Spent my time feeling like if I said one more word, I'd throw up from the panic. If I paused for too long to think, my skin would crawl and heart rate escalate. Spent my time psychologically battering my self-respect, who'd have patience for someone who loafs and waits for the sky to fall? Who'd have patience for someone who makes nothing out of what she was given, and mind you, not deservedly either. Spent my time missing the boyfriend, which inevitably tied back to my worrying state of distraction (aka lack of focus), and that manifested into a withdrawal from any sort of interaction with him. See how that, straight away, is a mini vicious cycle? Spent my time feeling nauseous, feeling heavy, feeling too much.

All in all, I would have to say, it's been a rather dismal day.